Whether we realize it or not, most of us live within a prison of our own making. This prison doesn’t have metal bars, nor can its walls be seen with our physical eyes. However, it is every bit as powerful in keeping us from our freedom as a real life prison cell.
And what is this spiritual prison? It’s called our comfort zone.
Comfort zones have the ability to metamorphosis into a variety of different forms — from the geographical area in which you live to the circle of people with whom you interact, to the amount of money you earn.
The primary energy that keeps you living within the confines of your comfort zone is your belief about what will happen if you move outside it. This belief is based in fear, and we all have them.
Regardless of how irrational or unrealistic that belief may be, you will accept it as truth depending on the level of certainty you need.
Your comfort zone is not actually comfortable at all, but in reality is a virtual prison that keeps you from growing and transforming as a human being.
The bars to that prison are made up of your fears. They may be fears about what may possibly happen if you move beyond them or fear of the unknown… Subsequently, the key to your freedom lies in the removal of the underlying beliefs that cause those fears to remain alive.
Just for a moment, think about a goal or dream you have that seems out of reach somehow. Now check to see if achieving it requires that you move out of your comfort zone and into unfamiliar territory, which is located in the land of the unknown and the uncertain.
It could be a dream job, a new relationship, starting your own business, losing weight, or living in a completely different part of the world.
As you practice this exercise, notice how a subtle feeling of fear, anxiety, or nervousness begins to emerge in your head, chest, or stomach area.
This is your unconscious mind springing into action, whose intention is to dissuade you from doing anything it perceives may put you in danger. This comes from the amygdala, the part of the brain that experiences emotion and wants to keep you safe.
More often than not, you won’t notice the constant influence your comfort zone plays in your life, and you may find yourself placing the blame for your lack of progress towards your goals, or laziness or procrastination.
However, if you stop to consider why you aren’t able to get that item crossed off your to-do list, make that phone call, or fill out that application, you may begin to recognize the true cause: What you want to do is outside your comfort zone.
It is your subconscious beliefs that direct your mind to do this; therefore, in order to break through your self-imposed limitations and achieve the success you deserve, you will need to remove them.
And the best way to remove an unproductive belief is to replace it with a productive one. This doesn’t occur over night, but like replacing an unconstructive habit with a constructive habit, it takes time, practice, and patience.
Shan White, a certified life coach, helps women heals themselves from the trauma of divorce by putting their lives back together piece by piece.
Sign up for a complimentary “Divorce Recovery Strategy Session” at:
One Georgia family has adopted seven siblings together after 1,359 days of being in foster care. It began 2 years ago when Josh, and her wife, Jessaka Clark wanted to adopt children. In April 2016, the couple learned about their super seven and initiated plans of providing them shelter as stated in Channel 2’s Kimberly Richardson. Jessaka mentioned how the kids had been waiting for everything to get settled in court.
“They moved in with us on Aug. 5th and have been waiting every day for our court date to finalize,” said Jessaka Clark.
The long awaited day finally arrived on May 9th and the couple were on their way to finalize the adoption in the courthouse. Josh Clark showed the excitement felt by the whole family by posting an adorable video on his Facebook page. Before the adoption, Josh Clark’s statement showed how happy the family was having been brought together by the couples.
“We are all super excited,” He said. “They have been up since 6 screaming and running around the house.”
It began with a family of three and now they were a family of 10 including Maria, Elizabet, Jason, Kristina, Guillermo, Noah, James and Katerin. The couples, Jessaka and Josh made the family complete and held the thought that they would never change despite the difficulties they are likely to face in future.
“We love our family, and as difficult as it can be, we wouldn’t change it,” said Jessaka Clark.
Noah, the Clark’s biological son held up a sign which read, “I was an only child for 1,426 days. But today, May 9, 2017, I became a little brother.” This was after finalization of the adoption at the courthouse. Jessaka Clark told Richardson of how her heart has had a huge place for adoption, the fact that she had grown with her foster parents most of her life.
Her parents adopted two brothers after 5 years. Ever since that transpired, they took a new role in providing assistance to children who are having difficult times and have aged out of the system. The Clarks hoped that their story would bring a little light on the crisis that was trending in the country of children who were fatherless.
May is a month of National Care and anyone who wishes to assist in raising money for the Clark family can feel free to make their contributions. As the couples continue with their adoption journey, they would love to get a home that has more bedrooms. They are currently living in a three bedroom home with the adopted children.
It’s a wonder why you haven’t yet devoured this delicious and healthy fruit, if you really haven’t! Cantaloupes boast of not only taste, but they’re great natural supplements for a healthy diet. They contain folate which has positive effects of brain function and metabolic growth. The carotenoids are good for treating age-related disorders and many types of cancer. Whereas, the water soluble vitamins help repair tissue wounds and are powerful in fighting free radical damage in the body. (1)
What you didn’t already know about cantaloupes, I’ve discussed in detail here. So, let’s begin!
Carotenoids are powerful compounds present in cantaloupes. They help prevent and treat age-induced macular degeneration.
Macular degeneration is a top agent for permanent blindness. It leads to the deterioration of the macula, which is the primary centre of the retina of the eye. The macula is responsible for visual sharpness.
As the person ages, blurred vision is the major symptom of macular degeneration. Eyesight is an important sign for people over the age of 60. With proper medication, lifestyle, and vision aids, you can alleviate vision stress and age-related eye disorders. (2)
For that you need a daily intake of carotenoids, which are present in abundance in cantaloupes. Even though there is no long-standing cure for macular degeneration, you can resist impaired vision with the help of a few healthy lifestyle choices.
It decreases the risk of developing certain eye diseases. Carotenoids contain lutein and zeaxanthin which is considered to be powerful agents for protecting the eye from macular degeneration symptoms, which often lead to permanent blindness. (3)
Key Takeaway: Eating cantaloupes regularly may have the potential of preventing age-induced macular degeneration in older adults. With the help of carotenoids, there’s significant reduction of inflammation in people who are more likely to suffer from eye disease.
Tissue growth and tissue healing requires the proliferation of collagen strength for damaged skin cells and tissue. With proper nutritive supplements, you can heal wounds faster and accelerate the growth of tissue cells for natural activity.
Cantaloupes contain a good amount of vitamin C which is beneficial for treating skin wounds and for tissue growth. Vitamin C supplements are used for treating wounds faster. Plus, they’re consumed by patients as a pre-treatment and pro-treatment for an surgical situation.
Vitamin C has many surprising benefits for the human body. They enhance iron absorption, reduce inflammation, fight cancer, and prevent diabetes. All this put together show that vitamins are essential for your everyday life.
A stronger immune system calls for strong muscles, tissues, and cell recovery. So eating cantaloupes on a daily basis is beneficial for patients who have just undergone surgery or are injured. (4)
These water-soluble vitamins repairs tissue, accelerates their growth, and blocks any age-related damage in the skin tissues and blood vessels.
Key Takeaway: Vitamin C plays a very important role for proper tissue repair and growth in the human body. It is needed to making tissues more immune to damage and to heal faster. Cantaloupes have such powerful vitamins in abundance, hence it’s essential to consume sufficient amounts of it for the optimal growth and repair of tissues.
Gastrointestinal disorders include digestive problems, abdominal pain, heartburn, irregular bowel movements, constipation, liver diseases, and metabolic problems.
The main cause of such disorders is presence of harmful bacteria in the body.
Digestive enzymes are responsible for breaking down multiple nutrients including proteins, minerals, vitamins, carbohydrates, and fats for adequate nutrient absorption in the bloodstream. These nutrients are then transferred to various organs in the body for proper functioning. Any disruption in the way food absorption takes place can cause serious ramifications for digestive or gastrointestinal health. (5)
Cantaloupes contain a good amount of potassium which is linked with gastrointestinal health and disease. Potassium is one of most essential nutrients for your body’s maintenance. It lowers blood pressure, increases nerve stimulation, and is good for water retention in the body. (6)
For defending against gastrointestinal diseases, potassium restricts bacterial growth and accelerates proper sodium and water absorption in the body. Potassium deficiency often leads to kidney failure and intestinal digestion in the body.
Key Takeaway: Potassium protects the body against bloating and water retention. It prevents gastrointestinal health by promoting better food absorption in the bloodstream. Cantaloupes are considered good foods for optimal gut health.
Cantaloupe is a nutritive alkaline fruit that is high in folate, fiber, and minerals. With its low cholesterol levels and saturated fat levels, it’s one of the most effective ways to treat different types of cancer.
The carotenoids present in cantaloupes have a direct link with prostate cancer, according to a study. Proper intake of this compound shows reducing levels of prostate cancer and its prevention. (7)
Another study showed that the antioxidant property of carotenoids isolate cancer cells proliferation from the body. It helps in chemoprevention in cancer patients. (8)
On the other hand, folate also plays an important role in cancer prevention. It causes incredible DNA repair and is vital for healthy cell proliferation. Regular intake of folate can restrict tumor growth in people with a higher risk of developing cancer cells. (9)
You need something powerful to defend your body against excessive inflammation caused due to free radical which is a major agent of cancer. With the help of cantaloupes, you can prevent the development of various types of cancer including prostate cancer, breast cancer, pancreatic cancer, and colon cancer.
Key Takeaway: Many studies were conducted to prove the efficiency and benefits of eating cantaloupes on a daily basis. For cancer patients, eating an alkaline fruit like cantaloupe is generally associated with reduced proliferation of cancer cells and a great alternative to chemoprevention.
Eating cantaloupes daily may provide potential inhibition of inflammation which can lead to cardiovascular diseases.
Cardiovascular diseases arise when your blood vessels get affected due to excessive inflammation and oxidative stress. It can lead to other severe heart problems including coronary heart disease, high blood pressure, congestive heart failure, and stroke.
For stimulate proper blood flow from the heart to various organs in the body, you need a daily intake of beta-carotene and vitamin C. Both of which are present in cantaloupes.
A trial conducted for determining the link between beta-carotene, vitamin C, and vitamin E claimed a relationship between these nutrients and cardiovascular diseases. (10)
As an antioxidant, vitamin C plays a vital role in the prevention of blood flow inflammation. It reduces the level of oxidants in the body by fighting free radical damage. Eating cantaloupes to control blood pressure levels and have the ability to prevent restricted blood flow and plaque buildup in the arteries increases your chances of having a strong heart.
Key Takeaway: Cantaloupes may prevent your chances of developing many cardiovascular diseases. It can regulate better blood pressure levels, which can lower your risk of heart attack and stroke.
Cantaloupes contain phytochemicals with many anti-inflammatory properties which help prevent bone and cartilage damage.
It helps block inflammation in the joints and is used for multiple arthritic treatments in patients. A cantaloupe-rich diet can reduce your inflammation, strengthen your bones, lower blood pressure, and aid in weight loss by filling your stomach faster. All these factor offer a great deal of benefits for people more likely to develop arthritis. (11)
Cantaloupes are loaded with antioxidants that stimulate your body’s natural immune defense against free radical damage and age-related disorders. This plays a vital role in preventing the depletion of bone mineral.
Phytochemicals stimulate the proper functioning of the joints, preventing excessive inflammation that leads to arthritis. (12)
The study conducted showed that increased intake of phytochemicals restrict inflammation and apoptosis in the human body. These two factors lead to cellular suicide, according to science.
Key Takeaway: Cantaloupes play an important role in preventing and treating bone disorders including arthritis. It benefits your joints, bone mineral density, and cellular recovery for healing bone fractures and breaks faster. While it also strengthens your bones by reducing inflammation in the body.
Dehydration leads to both mild and severe symptoms. Factors such as constipation, headache, fatigue, muscle cramps, rapid heartbeat, low blood pressure, and respiratory problems are caused by severe dehydration. (13)
Cantaloupe is rich in water and fiber, both of which are essential for stimulating good hydration levels in the human body. Good hydration supports heart health, digestion, cognitive, and other processes in the human body.
If you experience frequent headaches, dryness, and fatigue, by increasing your cantaloupe intake you can alleviate all symptoms of dehydration effectively. A daily intake of cantaloupe for dehydrations goes a long way for preventing lifelong diseases.
Key Takeaway: Cantaloupe contains high amounts of water which helps prevent severe dehydration symptoms. It regulates good digestive, heart, and cognitive pressure by increasing the amount of water and fiber content in your diet.
It is a common known fact that people who have a regular intake of dietary fiber are less likely to experience constipation than those who don’t.
In a study conducted on patients with chronic constipation, 85% of patients showed improvements in overall digestive health due to the increase intake of dietary fiber. (14)
A poor outcome of dietary fiber intake for people experiencing irregular bowel movements must increase their cantaloupe intake as cantaloupes are rich in dietary fiber and water.
According to WebMD, a highly effective dietary fiber intake can show long-term relief for constipation. It helps in food absorption and helping the food pass smoothly through the digestive system. (15)
As you know already, cantaloupes are good fruits for gastrointestinal health and they help reduce inflammation in the colon. All the more reason why a fiber-rich diet is essential for your good health.
Key Takeaway: Cantaloupes are high in dietary fiber that provide constipation relief. They also reduce the risk of developing chronic constipation which could damage your digestive system, especially your intestine. Studies on patients with chronic constipation show that an increased intake of dietary fibers shows positive results against the symptoms.
Foods that are low in cholesterol levels and saturated fats are considered good for maintaining optimum body weight. Cantaloupes are a good source of nutrients beneficial for weight loss while providing very little sugar, cholesterol, and saturated fats.
Low-fat-dense foods assist weight loss diets. Eating sufficient amounts of cantaloupe can fill up your stomach quickly, thus curbing your appetite effectively. (16)
The dietary fiber content helps in filling up your stomach so you feel full for longer periods of time. Hunger often leads to unhealthy food intake, which can be suppressed with the help of fiber-rich fruits and vegetables.
Excessive weight gain can lead to diabetes, heart problems, and obesity. Studies show that the phytonutrients present in cantaloupe improve blood sugar levels and stimulate optimal blood pressure levels, which is essential for weight management.
Regulating good anti-inflammatory and metabolic levels is fundamental for weight loss.
Key Takeaway: Cantaloupe contains several nutrients that aid in weight loss. They help fill up your stomach and for longer too.
Cantaloupes are a good source of lutein and zeaxanthin. They greatly contribute to eye health for a healthy lifestyle.
Based on studies, these two carotenoids protect the macula from harmful environmental factors and age-related disorders. They prevent cataracts, unfocused vision, and excessive oxidation. (17)
On the other hand, phytonutrients protect the eye from oxidative stress and UV radiation, that is sun rays. There are many eye diseases that arise from UV radiation, such as cataracts, skin cancer around the eyelids, photokeratitis, and macular degeneration. (18)
If you spend a lot of time in the sun or you’re already struggling with a retinal disorder, it’s inevitable that you eye’s sensitivity to light is high. Eating cantaloupes regularly for your good eye health is very essential.
When there are harmful reactive oxygen species present in the human retina, alkaline fruits rich in carotenoids can protect the macula from deterioration. Cantaloupes boost immunity to fight severe eye diseases like macular degeneration, especially in older populations.
Key Takeaway: Studies suggest that cantaloupes may help reduce eye diseases arising from oxidative stress and UV radiation exposure. Cantaloupes contain carotenoids that help you see clearly and avoid age-related eye diseases.
Kidney disease, or chronic renal failure, is a long-standing condition that often takes years to proliferate in the human body. People with this disease often experience no symptoms. Although this condition can be diagnosed with a simple blood test.
If left untreated, chronic kidney failure can lead to dialysis treatment or a transplant.
Cantaloupe is a diuretic fruit which is an essential factor for chronic renal failure. It stimulates renal blood flow and is good for water retention. Linked with kidney disease are other severe conditions including hypertension, hyperkalemia, and vascular congestion.
The nutrients present in cantaloupe show positive effects on these conditions as well. It is a water-containing alkaline fruit that helps your kidneys release large amounts of water in your body. While the dietary fiber present in cantaloupes reduce bloating and stimulate optimum digestive function. (19,20)
Exposure to toxins aggravated by environmental factors play a very important role in chronic kidney failure. It restricts conditions like diabetes, bladder obstruction, and even cancer.
Key Takeaway: Cantaloupe is a low-fat fruit, plus it falls under the category of diuretic foods. The nutrients present in cantaloupe are resistant to kidney-related diseases that is a major agent to chronic renal failure and cancer.
Free radicals, in overwhelming amounts in the body, can cause severe drain and organ damage. It messes up your biological functions and increases inflammation in the body.
Such a reaction is never good for the body as it makes your immune system more susceptible to chronic diseases that are often life-threatening. With the increase in free radical production, your natural defenses are at loss.
Research has linked antioxidants to free radical-induced diseases including cancer and Alzheimer’s. Other factors such as chronic pain are also affected greatly due to oxidative stress or inflammation in the body.
Cantaloupes are rich in antioxidants. They stimulate your body’s defense system to heal faster, resist chronic diseases, and defend healthy cells against bacteria and infection. (21)
Eating cantaloupe on a regular basis will improve your chances of experiencing less pain. It is a good dietary food for boosting your body’s defence against environmental factors and free radical damage.
Key Takeaway: The antioxidants present in cantaloupes neutralizes free radicals in the body. It reduces pain and restricts radical-induced cellular damage in the human body.
Now that you know how beneficial the fruit is, it’s time to incorporate it into your daily diet. You should know that cantaloupe is not just a breakfast ingredient. You can use it for savory and sweet dishes as much as you can for smoothies and salads.
The best part about cantaloupe is that it is considered to be the purest pleasure of the summer season. And that’s just around the corner, isn’t it? Fresh, juicy cantaloupe is one of the favorite melons of the season. So let’s find out how we can add cantaloupe to all kinds of delectable dishes.
When it comes to cantaloupe, you need a dish as delightful, light, and fresh as this.
1 chopped red onion
1 chopped plum tomato
1 bunch of coarsely chopped cilantro
1 pinch of black pepper (ground)
2 large, finely diced cucumbers
3 cups – cantaloupe, finely diced
1 tbsp – olive oil (extra-virgin)
Half an jalapeno pepper (minced and seeded)
One lime, zested and juiced
One pinch of salt
Who says you can’t cook Italian with a little bit of cantaloupe?
2 tbsp – lemon juice (fresh)
1 tbsp – kosher salt (extra needed)
1/2 tsp black pepper, ground (extra needed)
4 tbsp – unsalted butter
1/4 cup of whiskey
1 cup of whipping cream
1 1/2 cup of Parmesan cheese, grated
2 pounds of cantaloupe, seeded and peeled
1 pound of spaghetti pasta
When it gets hot, all you need is a simple chilled cantaloupe refreshment to keep you cool.
1 fresh mint sprig
2 tbsp of cream
2 tsp of honey
1 tbsp of minced, fresh ginger
1/2 cup of Greek yogurt
Some lemon juice
Salt to taste
Never heard of a fruit pizza? Well, it tastes better than you think. Just like pineapple, cantaloupe as well makes for a tasty pizza topping.
Frozen pizza dough
1/4 cup of fresh basil
1 cup of ricotta cheese
1 cup of cantaloupe pieces (sliced)
2 tbsp – pine nuts, toasted
2 tbsp – honey, raw and thick
Salt to taste
The next best option after the classic lemon meringue is this sweet cantaloupe pie. So I’ve got all your pie cravings covered.
For the crust:
3 tbsp – melted, unsalted butter
1 1/2 cup – shortbread cookies, ground
For the filling:
1 tbsp of butter
2 tbsp of water
1/4 tsp of vanilla
1/4 tsp of salt
1 tsp of cornstarch
1/4 cup of sugar
1/2 cup of flour
3 whole egg yolks
1 large cantaloupe
For the topping:
3 whole egg whites
6 tbsp of sugar
1/4 tsp of tartar cream
There’s nothing more appetizing and creamier than this perfect summer sweet cantaloupe dish.
3 tbsp of honey
3 tsp of powdered, unflavored gelatin
1/2 cup of Greek yogurt
3/4 cup of cream
1 seeded, peeled, chopped cantaloupe
1 cup of blueberries
1 cup of blackberries
Salt to taste
To promote a healthy way of living, cantaloupes support heart, brain, and immune health. It reduces inflammation, fights cancer, and promotes digestive function. You’ll find cantaloupes as a daily lifestyle choice in European and North American countries. You can eat them as fresh fruits, as a salad, or as a healthy meal.
There’s nutrient diversity in cantaloupes as it hosts a bunch of nutritive compounds that score good in terms of maintaining health and well-being. Being a good host of fiber, potassium, iron, vitamins, and carotenoids, there’s so much that you can work with. According to multiple science-backed reports, cantaloupe is a delicious and hearty fruit considered to be a staple diet for anyone looking to rejuvenate their diet.
Original Article from Jen Reviews.
Danny Dwyer, a former Boston Police officer, intends to show his appreciation to the community by running in the Boston Marathon this year. Before he had a moment of clarity, Dwyer had lived for four years under a bridge in Boston North End. Dwyer eventually committed to starting a fresh after finding the treatment for his drug addiction. His motive is to inspire people who are going through similar battles that he had at some point in his lifetime.
Dwyer told CBS Boston of how he was first introduced to drugs. Marijuana was his introductory drug at the age of eight years and advanced to a variety of substances over time. He said that he had begun to build a tolerance. “You know, sleeping pills and smoking marijuana,” said Dwyer. Despite the fact that Dwyer was using drugs in his early life, it did not prevent him from developing his law enforcement career. Before he became a Boston police officer, he had served in the Air Force, Suffolk County Sheriff’s Department, and the Air National Guard.
Dwyer injured his knee in the process of chasing after an armed robbery suspect, bringing his career to a halt. He became used to the opioid painkillers which at that time proved useful in nursing his injuries. He told CBS Boston with the bitterness of how he was stuck in such a situation as a police officer. “I’m afraid to tell anybody about it because I am so embarrassed and ashamed that I failed, that’s how I felt, you know?” said Dwyer. His continued use of opioids made him lose everything.
Dwyer said that somewhere along the way, there was a breakdown. He cannot categorize it if it was physical, moral or whether there was an occurrence that led towards the progression. Having lost his home in the undertaking, Dwyer admitted to having overdosed twice. “I remember being angry when I was brought back. I felt like I couldn’t even die correctly”, he said.
He found the inspiration to change his life for the better. He told CBS Boston about his conscience of not wanting to die in that kind of a situation but to be remembered for the good things he had done. “I just had this moment of clarity that, I’m going to die and I don’t want to die like this” said Dwyer. He came to the decision of running after checking into treatment regarding his drug use.
Dwyer will be among the 30,000 participants in Boston Marathon on 17th April running in the 26.2-mile distance. Lazarus House received more than $8,000 that was raised by Dwyer to show his appreciation in giving back to the community. Lazarus House is a homeless shelter and food pantry situated in Lawrence, Massachusetts. Dwyer feels that he can be a symbol of hope to other people by participating in the Boston Marathon. Since he can reach his hands back, he believes that with that responsibility people would have the idea that not everything is always perfect, but they can always find a solution to a problem.
“You need to allow people around you to help you and show you a way out. You need to start building that of foundation”, Dwyer expressed his initiative to the CBS Boston.
There are several problems most of us experience as step parents and they also affect our emotions negatively depending on different situations. Here are some of the discernments of stem moms that may shock you.
I had no biological children of my own after moving in with my husband 15 years ago. He had five children and took full control of everything in the house. Being 29 years of age, I was used to a relationship where there were only the two of us, but now I was on a one to six, attempting to fit in the outer edges. After thinking for some time, I posed a question to my husband on whom he would save should our house burn down. “The kids, of course!” he replied. This answer left me in shock, and I felt hurt. “What about me? Didn’t he love me?” These questions ran through my mind.
I felt jealous especially when the children would play happily with their dad on bed and me, calm on the other side, attempting not to be shoved off. Another thing that made my heart burn out was when the kids would describe their mom with the great talks of how she was beautiful and how much they missed her. Other circumstances that left me jealous too was when I could be assigned to take pictures after the girls had dressed up ready for dances. Sometimes they would talk about their previous parties and vacations long before I was accepted in the family. I could not pretend that this did not take place despite exhausting my thoughts and growing out of it.
I used to question myself most often before I had my biological son. I could not understand why I was unable to love my step children the same way their dad showed his great affection to them. “Am I lacking some child loving gene?” I questioned my thoughts. My heart cracked open after the birth of my first son. I felt the urge to protect him with everything I had should anything, or anyone squeeze it accidentally.
After I had my son, it dawned on me why my husband would volunteer to save his kids but leave me to die in the burning house. I would also do the same, to save my only biological son. I came to understand how high a parent love is and what they do feel for their kids. The other five older kids were awesome and deserved the parents’ love, but my heart felt rigid, and I couldn’t love them deeply as their father. It seemed to me as a terrible sin. The jealousy I had previously started deteriorating over time, and I developed bits of tenderness and love to my step children too. Despite my love towards them, I could not compare it to my son of which I would be willing to change that if hypnotized or given a pill.
As stepmoms, we involve ourselves in broken families regardless of the degree to which the divorce took place. Termed as ‘the usurpers’, it makes you feel guilty or cold-hearted. Our presence establishes the broken lives having built new ones. Even though you are not the cause of the divorce, you develop a feeling of breaking emotionally as if you are trespassing.
The main question is, should everyone know the truth that I am a step parent and not the biological mother of these kids? Giving an example to the answer you wish to hear: I have been raising these children for this number of years. The five are my step children while this little one is my biological kid. We live together happily and never use the word “Step or half-brother or sister.” I do everything for them including cleaning, cooking, help them with their school work and any other thing they need from their mom. I am sure I won’t look this young for long despite having all these children.
That is a long description of your life that you cannot express to every cab driver, check out girl or a hair stylist who poses the question to you. I would often reply “Yes, they are all my children.” But then there is that guilt, hidden behind your voice since you know the truth and the step kids certainly know that you are “lying.” Though they won’t speak anything about it, their pretense may just to show that they are playing nice and they care.
You come into the family having no knowledge whether you will be welcomed by the kids and more so the extended family. The community too is inclusive since they are aware of the new mom to the kids.
I remember being regarded with suspicion the first moment I went to pick up the children in school. The ladies at the desk would question me. “Who are you exactly? And why are you picking these kids? Where are you taking them?” they asked with much curiosity. I felt like an unpaid nanny that might have handed out lollipops to lure the kids to my van, parked from a distance with blacked out windows. I felt like being of a criminal background, and it disturbed my thoughts for years to change that situation.
I am not trying to instill fear in you, but all I can say is that step mothering can be and has been amazing. Despite that, it is necessary for you to be aware that it requires a woman with a healthy heart, the kids too have to be decent, and your man should be reputable with plenty of time for the family. At the end of the day, you can take a glass of wine. Besides, I don’t think it would be of any harm.
Having the room and chance to be creative can be one of life’s most fulfilling encounters. Children are destined to be creative and clever. Sadly, as they develop, increasingly standards are forced on them, and a few understudies step by step free their creative edge, or they direct their creativity into non-learning exercises.
When you know how to encourage your child‘s creativity as a parent it goes a long way for the child because it shows them you are supportive and they can depend on you, it urges them to do better and it enhances their learning capabilities and urges them to get better with their creativity because they would not want to pay you back for encouraging them in their own coin which is making you proud.
At the point when your child communicates excitement in making a little thing like a bookmark, making a little handbag with blanket patches, making up some test unit, or making an exercise manual for their more youthful kin, please support, acknowledge and applaud their creativity.
Color, music, art, sound can all be source of inspiration to bring out your kids creativity, all you have to do is recognize it and encourage them as a parent. Relate with them, play with them and bring out their hidden passion, when kids are so happy they tend to drop off signs about their likes which are hidden within them unconsciously.
We ought to continually urge children to use their creativity to learn new things, to reflect what they have picked up, and to discover and research new space in this unfathomable sea of data and information.
When your child’s creativity is supported and encouraged by you as a parent, they relate the constructive and viable experience of learning with being creative, and it will benefit them for rest of their lives. Children are affected by their environment and the general population they interact with every day. On the off chance that their environment repress their opportunity to be creative, they won’t figure out how to communicate to their full capacity. They may have creative capacities, however in the event that their surroundings does not empower this, they won’t achieve their maximum capacity.
1. Name Child After New Spouse
If you did not name your first son/daughter after you it is very disrespectful to give your second son/daughter your name. It is double disrespectful to do it if your first son/daughter was named after you. He/she will hold resentment towards you, the child and the new spouse.
2. Take Sides
Taking sides is a bad sign to your children and will leave them to believe you do not love them anymore because you remarried and have other children. This will cause unrest in your home and constant arguments between the kids and none stop competition. Siblings will start to lie on each other to get your attention to make other siblings look bad.
3. Exclude Children
When you exclude siblings, or give one something that the other never had will cause jealousy. Example: New children play extra activities and are supported by parents, where as the other siblings were not encouraged or supported when doing activities.
4. Separate Them When Introducing
Yes you had children before your new family or maybe you had them afterwards. However when you are out and you run into someone and they ask, “oh are these your children?” Your response should not be, “these are my kids and those are my spouse kids”. Those words will stick with them forever and they will always feel you think and look at them separately and not part of the new family.
5. Make Them Feel They Are In The Way
We are going to the store with the kids, you all stay here.
Watching TV with one set on kids and when the others come in, you say “we were doing good until you all came in with all that noise”.
6. Talk About Kids To The Other Kids
Horrible, Horrible, Horrible, this is a big no no. Any negative thing one sibling did, done, or do should not be shared with the other siblings. It can be done in a family meeting, so that everyone can comment at one time, not shared to give the perception one child is worst or better than the other.
7. Compare Children
Why don’t you do like she/he does.
You are fatter than she/he is.
You should take a note from she/he and dress like that.
8. Talk About Biological Parents That Do Not Live In Home
Do not allow you current spouse to talk bad about your children parents. It does not matter to children what their parents have done they will love them still. Children will lash out in other ways when their parents are attacked and unable to defend themselves.
9. Make Sibling Call Each Other Step
Step-brother/Sister is not endearing so encourage siblings to say, “my sister”, my brother. You start first by saying go help your sister/brother, where is your sister/brother, or tell you sister/brother its time to eat.
10. Treat Them Different
If you give one something then make sure they all get it, unless one says they do not want it or say they are too old for it. Example: Everyone gets a cake on their birthday, everyone gets an Easter basket for Easter. Punishment should be handled by both parents in home, not I am going to let your father/mother handle you. Both parents should sit down with the child and tell them why they are in trouble. It is a cope-out when one parent tells the other parent to “handle your own child.” This can be interpreted as the step-parent does not care or does not want to be a parent to the new children.
When you decided to married or be in a relationship with someone that has children you are taking on a huge responsibility. If you feel you cannot be an asset to a new family or you do not have enough love in your heart to love other children, you should not be with someone with children. Consider all parties involved before making a decision to become a step-parent. The actions you make today good or bad could last a lifetime.
Never drink a drop of coffee.
No Beef or Pork
Healthy snacks Nuts or fruit
Drink plenty of water
Limits foods that are high in sugar and carbohydrates
Fruits and vegetables
Fish and Chicken
Juices, A green juice—usually a vegetable juice, depending on what coast he’s on.
On the West Coast, “I go to a place called Beaming and get the Radiance, with spinach, rose water, chlorophyll, and pear.”
On the East Coast, “I go to Pressed Juicery and get the Greens 3: spinach, parsley, kale, and apple.”
Waka Flocka Flame
Complex carbohydrates such as sweet potatoes
Lots of water to