April 19, 2019
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Score Yourself on the Four Levels of Love

Feb 13, 2019

Score Yourself on the Four Levels of Love

When I was working towards becoming certified as a divorce recovery coach, one of my favorite parts of the education process was a simple, yet profound understanding of the different types of love taught by my mentor, Tony Robbins.

The reason why it was so important to me, and I hope to you, is because it gave me a practical way in which to determine the level of love I was giving to those important to me. As you read through the four levels of love, you will gain the greatest benefit if you will:

  • Be brutally honest with yourself.
  • Recognize what level of love you are currently living, not how you aspire to love.
  • Stop allowing yourself to fall into self-judgement, and instead be aware of your hunger to love in a higher level.

 

Level One

Baby Love: Baby love is a love that has ceased to mature beyond the stage of infancy. This level of love is adorable and endearing, like a baby. That is, until it doesn’t get it’s own way. Then, it will cry, yell, scream, and act out in ways that come off as demanding. I’ll bet you know people like this. When everything is going their way, they are very pleasant; when it doesn’t, they turn on you like a rabid Doberman! They become vengeful, angry, and will make you pay by punishing you. Perhaps they withdraw from you or even consciously or sub-consciously hurt you. Can you remember a time when you yourself have behaved in a baby-level love? We all have.

Level Two

Horse-Trading Love: Horse-trading love, or whoring love, as Tony calls it, is a love that is transactional. You give to me and I give to you. A whore gives love and gets money in return; it’s a transaction. Level-two type of love operates in the same fashion. When you are giving to me, kind to me, considerate, sensitive, and thoughtful, I have the wherewithal to give back to you. When you become unkind, inconsiderate, insensitive, and thoughtless, especially over a period of time, my reservoir of love dries up. This type of love, although more mature than baby love, has destroyed more marriages, friendships, and relationships with family members.

Level Three

Unconditional Love: Unconditional love is the kind of love that gives because of who I am as a being, not because of how you are behaving in the moment. It does not “measure” to make sure I am getting as much as I am giving. It does not adhere to the “tit for tat” method. It is the kind of love that sets no conditions, no boundaries, and is unchanging, even in trying times. In Greek, the word is “agape,” which is likened to the way in which God loves us and the way we show god-like love to others.

Wikipedia refers to it as “a state of mind in which one has the goal of increasing the welfare of another, despite any evidence of benefit for oneself.”

Although this level of love is challenging to operate from on a day-to-day basis, it doesn’t mean it’s not worth aspiring towards.

Can you remember a time when someone gave of themselves to you in a way that had no strings attached, but just because they loved you? And can you remember when you did the same for someone else? Didn’t it transcend you to a place that made you feel you were being the higher version of your true self?

Level Four

Spiritual Love: Spiritual love is the type of love that has the capacity to love, even when it is being hurt. Figures in history like Gandhi and Mother Teresa are great images of this type of love. Don’t misunderstand this type of love; it is not a self-flagellating or martyr type of love that enjoys being hurt. It simply loves even in the presence of unwelcomed and unwanted hurt or harm.

It goes without saying that most of us don’t live in this mode of being on a continual basis, but as Michelangelo said, “The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”

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THE JOYS OF MOTHERHOOD

May 10, 2015

By Alonia Jones

Happy-Mothers-Day-Flowers-2

While there are many gifts that can be bestowed upon women, perhaps the greatest is that of being a mother. To me, it is sheer joy. In fact, it’s almost indescribable! I have been given the wonderful task of interviewing a few mothers so that I may present this article to you. Each one shared beautiful reflections of their dear mothers and how their influences have impacted their own motherhood. It is my sincere hope that these reflections will warm your heart and brighten your day.

Dean LindaLinda Dean – Atlanta, Georgia
Mother: Ruby Anderson
Children: Cammie Blackmon and Cory Kyser

I will forever appreciate the sacrifice my mother, Ruby Anderson, made to ensure that all her children were in church regularly. We were there for Sunday School, Bible Study and church services faithfully. What was interesting, though, was that my daddy would never come. Yet, that didn’t stop my mother from asking.

I remember one day we were all at church; without Daddy, of course. Before any of us knew anything, he walked into the church and gave his heart to the Lord. From that time on, he and my mama served the Lord together.

After I got older, I strayed away from the church. I know it was the seeds my mother planted in me that led me back to God. She died very young (age 55.) But even so, I’m so glad I can recognize that the wisdom she had was actually the gift of the prophecy. This gift, which is the greatest she could have ever bestowed, has now been passed through the generations, even to my grand-kids. For this, I shall be forever grateful.


Victoria WheelerVictoria Wheeler – Atlanta, Georgia
Mother: Geraldine Grady
Children: Brittany Bailey and Jarica Hunter

My mother, Geraldine Grady, was a very honest, straightforward and caring person. I did not realize the extent of her concern for others until she passed away. I still marvel at how people have shared stories of what a wonderful person she was. One that amazed me the most was how she put her life on the line just to save someone else. The owner of a downtown grocery store told me that two guys came in to rob the store. My mother courageously stood between the gun and the lady and told the young man, “This is not going to happen today. You all are going to leave this lady alone. Go on out the store and act like this didn’t happen.”

This was only one of the ways she stood up for people that would never stand up for themselves. As the oldest of eight kids, she did the same for her siblings. Standing up and respecting others is what I instill in my kids. People said my mom fed and clothed them and even paid their bills. I’ll forever remember her loving spirit and her wit.


Be FLY Launch 140614-191Velma Parks – Atlanta, GA
Mother: Cora E. Childs Reese
Children: Lala Harrison (deceased), Alonia Jones, Micheal Parks

Growing up in Auburn, Alabama, my mother, Cora Reese, would sit me down around the fireplace and talk about the facts of life and her upbringing. Each night, she would read the Bible to me and explain the passages. She often told me, “Get an education and learn to do some things for yourself. That way, if your marriage doesn’t work, you won’t have to depend upon someone else for a handout.”

On Sunday mornings before church, Ma would fix us a hearty meal: rice and pork chops some days, fish and grits on others. She kept us involved in everything the church had to offer, and she was very strict about us going to the movies on Sunday, a day to be reserved as sacred. She was so serious about our relationship with God that she made me go back and “tarry” when I joined the church because she said she wasn’t convinced I was for real. So I went back and prayed and sang until I knew for sure that I had an encounter with God. My life has never been the same. I can only hope that I have made as many deposits in my own children and grandchildren lives.


 

 

 

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GOOD4YOU: 5 Healthy Ways To Get Over a Break-Up

Aug 24, 2014 0

 By Connie Alsobrook

Sharing their lives with each other1. Exercise. When you endorphins start pumping through cardio exercise
you stress levels are lowered. Running, bike ride, speed walking, are
all good cardio enhancers.

Sitting in the house not eating, crying to friends, or moving around
is not good for your body. Do the opposite of what you want to do and
you will immediate feel better.

2. Think Of All The Good Things You Have. The loss is anything is painful,
especially when it is someone you once loved and thought you would
spend the rest of you life with.

After the breakup you focus of the negative things instead of all the
positive things in your life, because somehow we feel rejected. We
all have great things in our life, think of those and be grateful. Each
day when you get up think of one thing you are grateful for, and say it
out loud.

3. Give Back. Charity work always feel good, when you are able to do
something for someone else. Once you see you have helped another person
you get that warm fuzzy feeling back. Believe it, helping others does
help you.

4. Eat Your Favorite Food. Just the mere thought of our favorite food
sometimes makes us feel better. There are “feel good” foods that could be
your favorite as well. Here are a few of those: Grapefruit,blueberries
lettuce, and cranberries So go ahead and indulge on whatever it is you love (do not over do it).

5. Candles. Try not to think of candles for only romance. Candles are
used for many purposes, including relaxation. Light a few scent candles,
for aroma therapy and feel the calmness come over you.

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