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Four Strategies to Prevent Divorce

Sep 26, 2016

“A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.”   – Pearl S. Buck

When two people marry, it means they have entered into a big commitment. They vow that they should stay with each other through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do them part.  Getting into a marriage relationship is the sign of the fullness of their deep romantic love for each other. Yet, their love for each other is tested in the course of time. First, there would be the adjustment period. All couples go through that. There is a saying that you only really get to know the person if both of you are living under one roof.

The routine of everyday life brings unrealistic expectations. Marital discontent comes in and it is expressed shortly just after the honeymoon fever wears off.  This is the time when imperfections are revealed.  Shortcomings become magnified.  Some eccentric behavior which you found “cute” before now becomes irritating.  Aside from your own problems as a couple, you have to deal with in-law relationships, money matters, work schedules and other conflicts which have become the cause of stress and anxiety.

When negative emotions and behavior take over, it becomes the perfect recipe for marriage disconnect. Unless you are aware of your own hurtful attitudes or actions, chances are, you won’t do something about it.  Marriage involves accepting who that person really is.  We only need to practice self-control and learn to turn expectations into appreciation.

The following strategies will show you how to bring back that “zip” in your relationship and divorce-proof your marriage:

  1. UNDERSTANDING – We all need reassurance. Reinforce this by showing affection, a simple praise, hug or kiss will do. We should learn to communicate our feelings to our spouse. Don’t be defensive. When you have a minor spat…say “I’m sorry.” and really mean it. The sooner you do this, the sooner your partner will stop resenting you.
  2. LEARN TO ACCEPT– All marriages go through certain challenges. The one that you married turns out not to be the “angel” that you envisioned or the “knight in shining armor.” Real love takes a lot of patience.   So go beyond your illusions on what or how your spouse should be.  Rather, focus on yourself and start to make the necessary changes needed to improve who you are as a mate.
  3. MEET HALFWAY– In every situation, especially when you reach the point that you are angry, hurt, and frustrated — you have to learn how to meet halfway. In other words, you must know how to compromise and negotiate. No two human beings are exactly alike. So settle your differences and learn to forgive each other quickly.  Don’t let the sun go down without you and your mate finding a way to make it right.
  4. REKINDLE – How do you refresh and fix a troublesome marriage and bring back the love and intimacy? Work on your marriage.  Like life itself….marriage is not a bed of roses. You have to work with your partner by investing time, love, money, and interest and support in each other.  Bring back the closeness by being honest, non-argumentative, and non-judgmental and non-critical.  Being happy together brings good mental health, physical health, spiritual health as well as emotional health.

When you take responsibility for being in charge of keeping the romance alive, you allow your marriage to blossom the way it was meant to be.

shanShan White specializes in working with women in preventing or recovering from the heartache of divorce.

Sign up for a complimentary “Divorce Prevention or Divorce Recovery Strategy Session” at: Email:  shancoaches@comcast.net
Office:  719-388-8758

 

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A Small Anti-Snoring Device With A Big Solution

Sep 13, 2016

Over a billion people, young and old are suffering from snoring with no accessible solution being in place before now. Challenged, a team of tech professionals came together to develop a technology that would solve this problem. The result; Snore Circle manufactured by VVFLY.

square-ear-snore-circle

Snore Circle told The Good News Notebook, “We are excited about reaching our goal in just the first week of campaign on Indiegogo. We really want to make Snore Circle version 3 a reality, not just to our Chinese customers but to the rest of the world and we are happy that it is finally happening. We hope to reach more supporters and help more people get a quiet and restful sleep with Snore Circle”.

How Snore Circle works

The Snore Circle equipped with sound recognition and bone conduction capabilities can accurately identify snores and then reducing the vibrations and sound produced when a person snores by as much as 54 times the original level.

How to use

Using Snore Circle is pretty simple. Once turned on, Snore Circle will automatically enter into working mode, thus making it safe for elderly people to use. Snore Circle comes with its own app which can be installed on any smart device. The app lets you analyze your health status, keep track of the quality of your sleep and then check your statistics.

Which set of people is Snore Circle meant for?

Snore Circle can be used by just anybody. It can be safely used by safe snorers, couples, used on board a plane when traveling and so much more.

Benefits

Comfortable to use: To give users great comfort while wearing Snore Circle, the device is made of silicone which is a very soft material.

Affordable: Snore Circle solves your snoring problem without leaving a hole in your pockets.

Portable: Snore Circle is very light so making it easy to be taken along wherever you are going to.

Smart: The device can be conveniently customized to meet your unique needs.

Photos provided by VVFLY

 

 

 

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5 Simple Things That Customers Love and Run Back For

Aug 23, 2016

Customer Service is not just a phrase, you must give “customer service” to stay in business.

 

  1. Grateful
    Always act grateful when a potential customer makes contact with you via phone, email, walk in, or social media. This is when it is decided if they want to do business with you, now or in the future.
  2. Help
    If you are unable to give the service that someone is looking for then try to refer them to somewhere else. This is not in any way taking away from your business. They may come back to you at a later date because you were helpful.
    Image result for help photos

Every business owner is not suited to be the face of their company. Just because you created the business does not mean you have great people skills. Choose someone that loves people and it comes thru when they interact with clients.  The first person a potential client speaks to is the impression they make about your business. Your product could be A one, however if the person at the front desk or over the phone is rude you can very easily loose a customer.

  1. Appreciation
    If you collect emails and phone numbers check in on your clients, no sales pitches just a quick note to say we appreciate your business.
  2. Free
    Put out little goodies from time to time, nothing over the top, coffee, tea, juice, water, and bananas are all inexpensive and most people enjoy them. Your clients will be happy you did.
  3. Real Discounts
    If you are going to give a discount then give a discount. 10% off just does not cut it anymore when your average customer is spending under $50.00 dollars. Choose a slow day and give away 20% off to customers.

CEO Derrick Billingslea of Business Solutions Source says, “Always anticipate what the customer needs and over deliver”.

Never leave a customer dissatisfied. There is always something you can do to make your customer happy.  You may have to bite the bullet sometimes but it will be well worth it in the long run.
Example: You misquote a price to a client. Apologize and let them know you made an error when you quoted the first price(this is the reason most successfully business owners have a price sheet).

Image result for apologize photos

 

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7 Strategies to Super-Size Your Self Esteem

Jul 27, 2016

For me, and eventually for my clients, one of the most challenging aspects of getting through a divorce is trying to pick up your trashed self-esteem off the floor and bring it back to life.

In my coaching career, this subject comes up a great deal.  Here are some of my favorite strategies to counteract the very debilitating and damaging effects of divorce, whether you are in the early, mid or late stages:

  • Since we all have the same 70,000 thoughts a day, start with filling your mind with “healthy thoughts” through incantations, reading inspirational material, keeping a gratitude and acknowledgement journal, etc. Begin to replace and implant new more empowering messages to begin to shift old tapes/records playing in your head. In Tony Robbins book, “Awaken the Giant Within”, he also recommends a 10 day mental diet. For 10 days you must train your mind to think good/kind thoughts. He mentioned that if you dwell in negativity for more than 10 minutes at a time, then you have to begin the 10 day mental diet all over again.
  • Start noticing things that you are doing well and can acknowledge yourself for. It is important to acknowledge ourselves and recognize our own greatness. Even if it is things like: get myself to work on time, received some nice feedback, or I made a healthy meal for the kids, etc.
  • Conversely, the habitual questions to avoid are, “What is wrong with me?” “Why can’t I ever get it right?” and “Why do I always mess things up?”
    Consider changing the questions to:  “Where did I contribute today?” “What am I doing great?” “In what way am I grateful for the blessing of life today?”
  • For me, I had to learn to become my own best friend. I decided not to say anything to myself that I would not say to my own best friend. I love, nurture and encourage my friends, so why wouldn’t I do this for myself? I would never discourage or condemn or abandon a friend. I always think the best of my friends. Why wouldn’t I do the same for myself?
  • Mirror work is also beneficial. I promise you that it will feel silly at first, but saying I love you to your image in the mirror adding because…..over and over and over can be very powerful.
  • Find a way to uncover your ‘pay-off’ or “side benefit” to your negative words or behavior. Low self esteem is a negative habitual behavior that serves a purpose. Too much self-soothing, self-condemnation and self-punishment can be traps. Yet we hold on to it because it serves us in some way. For example, I too have struggled with low self esteem. I realized that I used it to hide from taking action on the things that would be good for me. The truth is I was too afraid to approach what would be good because I might fail.  The key is to fess up to the ‘pay-off’. Develop a more empowering meaning or ‘pay-off’. Then take action. A great strategy for playing a negative script is to ask the question, “What will I tell myself instead, do instead?”
  • Additionally, Nathaniel Brandon has great books and exercises, like “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem”, for increasing self-esteem. And very easy to implement, as well.

Find one or two strategies that resonate with you and commit to it.  Practice them over and over again.  Soon you will find that you are thinking, feeling AND believing better things about yourself.

shanShan White, a certified life coach, specializes in working with women in preventing or recovering from the heartache of divorce.
Sign up for a complimentary “Divorce Prevention or Divorce Recovery Strategy Session” at:
Email:  shancoaches@comcast.net
Office:  719-388-8758e

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HOW TO STAY COOL IN THE SUMMER

Jun 29, 2016

In the excessive summer season the days are longer and the nights are shorter that means that the contact duration of the sun rays and the planet is more in contrast to winters. Basically we are talking about those gnarl days in which the sun shows no mercy, when the intense heat and enormous humidity make it impossible to even sit comfortably.

So, the question that tickles us is that how we are going to persist such devastating season? Well here are some useful ways in which you can easily get rid of this catastrophic season.

 

  • CLOTHING: –black clothes

When it comes to eliminate the eagerness of the summer season the most indispensable step is to scrutinize your clothing. The clothes we wear have some serious alliance with a heat we feel during the summers. Your Perspiration rate can be manipulated by your cabinet choices. Choosing natural fibers including, cotton Pima cotton, Nylon, linen and tropical wool are generally better at soaking up moisture from the skin and allowing it to evaporate from the outer surface. The color of your dress is also linked with the absorption of the amount of heat. Science has proved that black color has the capability to absorb most of the heat from the environment as it absorbs all the wavelengths of light. So wearing such clothes which reflects all the wavelengths will reflect heat as well for example wearing White color.

 

  • COOLING FLUIDS AND FOODS:-watermelon

                          Most of us feel low on energy in warmer climate. To keep our vitality proportion suitable and to equipoise our diet some extremely salubrious cooling foods are discussed ‘Coconut water’ consists of simple sugars, electrolytes and some minerals which helps to keep body hydrated. Another important, beneficial and delicious coolant is ‘Curd/Yogurt’ It keeps our stomach cool ,Other foods that has the properties of the coolant includes ‘Watermelons’ which are delicious and can help you keep chill, Cucumbers contains 95% of water in it and plays vital role in making body hydrated, Mint is an inexpensive simple & easily available cooling Food which can be added to yogurt, “Green Veggies” During the summers we have a lot of Green vegetables, They have high water content and can be health beneficial, Onions have amazing cooling properties, having lots of unions can protect you from sunstroke , 90% of water content is founded in melons, Lime water is refreshing sweet and also has health benefits, Ice creams can also help etc.

 

  • COOL SHOWERS :-Cold-Shower-300x204

Cool showers can also be very supportive in surviving heat wave. Cold water baths in calefaction not only lowers down our body temperature but it has got a lot of other benefits too. For instance Cool showers can increase alertness, refines hair and skin, improves immunity and circulation, and relieves depression and many more.

 

  • EFFICIENT LIGHTING:-

Installing efficient Lighting can also help in order to hoard our rooms invigorating.
Choosing Compact Fluorescent lamps ‘CFCs’ and Light Emitting Diodes ‘LEDs’ instead of common lights can also be accommodating as they endeavor to produce less heat. Turning off the lights that are not in use can also be very convenient as light produces heat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • WINDOW SHELTERING :-

About 90% of heat from the sun is entered in the room through glass windows. So Blocking out the sun during the day can have monstrous impression on any room’s temperature. Look for curtains or drapery panels with heavy linings. This is a perfect solution for bedrooms and rooms that are often unoccupied during the day. Installing a Polymer Thermal Window film can also be very advantageous.

 

 

 

 

 

  • USING YOUR CEILING FANS AND AIRCONDISHONERS:-

The effect of air movement on the body provides a perceived reduction in temperature. That is why the ceiling fan you use is important. Eminent or top-quality fan with right mechanics to push as much air as possible is preferable.

Air conditioners are technologically the most advanced way to keep any compartment cool, but it requires a lot of energy.

Change the filters regularly and check hoses for leaks to make sure that cool is air is delivered properly. For severe cases consider calling a professional.

 

  • BE CREATIVE :-

If you think fans are just for blowing hot air around think again! Point box fans out the windows so they push hot air out, adjust ceiling fan settings so the blades run counter-clock wise pulling hot air up and out instead of just twirling it around the room. Similarly Natural resources help a lot

Those of you who burn very easily, all you going to need is some Aloe Vera Gel put it in to the freezer and then take it out and go ahead and put it on your burns. It is amazing.

Applying mashed avocado on to your skin for 15 minutes will refresh your skin and many more.

Consequently we have a lot of ways of staying cooler in summers. The vital clue is to ‘be creative; there are millions of other summer season life hacks. Unpacking your talent is the main precondition; we are sure that you can imagine circumstances when you need to keep cool in summers. We presume that you will be very happy to be able to erect your tent.

Author ContentArena.

 

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Reviving Your Inner Joy

Jun 15, 2016

Happiness is based on external circumstances.  When you get a raise, buy a new couch, or find a terrific outfit, you are happy.  But joy is different.  Joy comes from a place deep within.  It exists regardless of external circumstances.  Joy can co-exist with pain, suffering and times of difficulty. And self-esteem is essential to our ability to experience joy.

Once achieved, it grows from the inside out.  But it is stunted from the outside in. A woman with low self-esteem does not feel good about herself because she has absorbed negative messages from the culture, media and poisonous relationships.

The propaganda of youth, beauty, and thinness in our society attempts to doom every woman to eventual failure. Women’s magazines, starting with the teenage market, program them to focus all their efforts on their appearance.

Many girls learn, by age 12, to give up formerly enjoyable activities in favor of the beauty treadmill leading to nowhere. They become fanatical about diets. They munch, like rabbits, on leaves without salad dressing, jog in ice storms, and swear they love it!  Ads abound for cosmetic surgery, encouraging us to “repair” our aging bodies, as if the natural process of aging were a disease. Yet with all this ceaseless effort, they still never feel like they are good enough.

Yet, feeling good enough and worthy of love starts with accepting and loving yourself.  And loving yourself starts with caring for yourself.  Make a plan to do one thing that will help you excel physically, intellectually, emotionally, even spiritually. Making just one change for the better will boost your attitude from the inside out. You can actually choose what you want to change or improve. Things you do most are the ones you may choose to focus on. A simple task doesn’t take that long. Little things add up. It’s amazing, really.

The seemingly meaningless things you do for yourself may not have immediate results, but after just a short while, they’ll have you looking and feeling better. So add those bubbles to your bath, make sure you eat your vegetables, get enough sleep, think of doing something good for yourself when you have nothing to do, and the results will be worth it.

In the meantime, remember that the journey is just as important, maybe more, as the destination.  To get that attitude going the right direction, you need to appreciate your face and body for what it is. It may be unrealistic to tell yourself to love it, but you certainly shouldn’t hate it, either.

If you take a look at any success story and grasp the one element of similarity between them, you’ll notice that virtually every self-made, successful person has this one super-important object of success in their mind- a burning desire to succeed. What counts is your mindset. Age, location, ethnic origin, gender, or any other perceived disadvantage have no part in your attitude to become what you desire.  As a matter of fact, there are so many real life “underdog” stories out there.  There are people who have been under-educated, considered too old, too fat, too ugly, discriminated against, abused, had little or no support, and left for dead that have found riches, fame and tremendous success.  But most importantly, they found a deep inner joy that no one could steal from them.

To start you journey today, consider this:  conduct a research project and find someone who has had similar struggles as you, has them in a big way, and  make them your new role model.  Find out everything you can about them, put their picture on your bathroom mirror, print a quote of theirs that inspires you and put it on the frig, read their biography or blog, flood your mind with where they’ve and where they are now and what you perceive it took to get there.  Lastly, fill yourself with faith that if they can do it, so can you!
shan
Shan White, a certified life coach, helps women heals themselves from the trauma of divorce by putting their lives back together piece by piece.

Sign up for a complimentary “Divorce Recovery Strategy Session” at:

Email:  shancoaches@comcast.net

Office:  719-388-8758

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Floyd Grant Awarded Akademia R&B/Soul Best Song of the Year

May 24, 2016

This songster, songwriter Actor & Award Winner for Akademia song of the year 2016 , is far from the average. Delivering songs of depth and insight with a powerful voice that demands attention and giving a new twist in the music, Floyd Grant born out of Atlanta, Ga, Has been singing and acting since the age of five and had the desire to sing & acting professionally at the age of thirteen. Growing up his style of singing was influenced by artist like: Stevie Wonder, Peabo Bryson, Kim Burrell & Issac Caree.

floyd winner

He has performed in several venues with many Bands around the nations and currently working his debut album. Grant recently made his TV appearance on R&B Divas Atlanta Season 3 Episode 4. Grant Also Performed at The Bronner Bros FEB 2015 Hair Show for 3 days on Nu Expressions Theater Stage.  Grant wants nothing else but to fulfill his purpose and live out his dream through music & acting. His plan is to become the next positive male role model and make marks that touch the world.


Smooth and sensuous. Floyd Grant’s ‘Got My Eye On You’ will have you fall in love all over again as you groove to the light, hypnotic drums and progressing seductive bass. A simple 4 note rhythm of high piano strings accompanies the rich melody as he sings to the hearts longing for love and relation. He doesn’t lie when he says he “can take you to a place you never been and never wanna come back.” Listening to his ‘smooth’ vocals will surely make anyone want to rekindle an old flame or begin a new one. As the ATLS Hottest Male Vocalist Winner of 2015 – 2016, Floyd Grant has truly shown he is here to stay as one of the greatest R&B and Pop entertainers we have today. His versatile flow is exceptional in the fact that it is unparalleled with the identical harmonies of everyday. With a style of his own he is sure to be an influential artist of the new era of R&B and Pop.

Favorite Quote
You are a product of what you think… choose wisely!!! 🙂

ATLS Hottest Male Vocalist Winner 2015/2016
R&B & POP Entertainer
www.youtube.com/user/fgrant10
http://twitter.com/floydgrant
http://www.twitter.com/iamfloydgrant

 

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5 Ways To Free Yourself From Being Frozen In Fear

May 20, 2016

Fear is a normal human emotion. We all experience it, know what it feels like, and have, at times, been overcome by it. So, you are not alone and there is nothing wrong with you.

I remember when my ex-husband left me six years ago and I was frozen in fear. With little notice, he left me with the bills, the house I couldn’t afford, the kids (furry ones, but still my kids), the car, and the new responsibilities of maintaining the home. I was scared out of my mind — I didn’t even know how to change the filter on the furnace or start up the lawnmower; he did all that!

I looked to people at work for empathy and support, but my boss didn’t seem to understand why I struggled. From her point of view, I should simply get over it and get on with life. The disdained look in her eyes said it all. In non-verbal ways, she communicated the message of “Why can’t you get it together?” and “What’s wrong with you?” After all, it had been a few months now and I should just get over it.

In my head, I screamed back at her, “My whole world has fallen apart and I don’t know what to do! How do you just get over it as if you just lost your shoe?”

You see, I was frozen in fear, a debilitating, pervasive, all-encompassing fear. I didn’t know at the time that there is a process in working through and reconditioning the fear I was experiencing. Here’s what helped me, and I hope it will help you:

  1. Recognize.

Start with being silent and going inward. Acknowledge all of the negative emotions you are experiencing. It’s not an easy task, but allow yourself to just sit with them.

Then ask yourself the question, “Why am I experiencing this emotion?” For example, what is it that I am truly afraid of? What is it that keeps me from moving forward and taking action?

  1. Re-frame Your Perspective.

Look at the emotion, such as fear, and ask yourself, “What beliefs about myself cause me to be afraid?” Am I not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, or creative enough to deal with this situation?”

And, more importantly, is it true? One of my mentors once asked me this question: “What if you are believing a lie about yourself, and what would it feel like to know longer believe that lie?”

    3.  Rehearse.

Rehearse to yourself affirmations, visualizations, and new emotions that align with a new belief about yourself. Also meditate on future successes like where you will be, what you will be doing, who you will meet. Bring all you senses to the scene — what do you see, feel, hear, taste, and smell?

  1. Release.

Release your fears by:

  1. Creating an action plan of what you will do to move forward.
  2. Creating a contingent action plan of what you will do when things don’t go right.
  3. Commit to your new plan in advance.
  4.  Revise.

As you grow, change, and evolve, revise your plan as needed.

Fear is a normal human emotion that doesn’t need to cripple you and keep you from becoming everything you dream of being and doing. If you are willing to address it, find out what’s behind it and take active action. You can take control over it instead of it taking control of you.

Life doesn’t get better through chance; it gets better through change.

Please share with me by posting in the comment field what has gripped you with fear and what can you do right now to dethrone it?

shan

Shan White, a certified life coach, helps women heals themselves from the trauma of divorce by putting their lives back together piece by piece.

Sign up for a complimentary “Divorce Recovery Strategy Session” at:

Email:  shancoaches@comcast.net

Office:  719-388-8758

 

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